You turned six weeks old on Saturday, congratulations! This means a few things. In addition to Daddy and I celebrating keeping you alive for a full month and a half, we have also enjoyed watching you transform from a cuddly newborn into an adorable infant. You now follow us with your eyes when we move around the room and you are gaining incredible neck control; and lets not forget that adorable smile you have been showing us! But in addition to these enjoyable milestones comes a not-so-enjoyable one,, the six week growth spurt or as I lovingly refer to it as 'the growth spurt from hell'.
I read somewhere that six weeks is when lots of women switch to formula and I can see why. Everything you do right now is as if to tell me that my milk supply is low. You are fussy, switch sides constantly and have developed this high-pitched squeal to vocalize your annoyance whenever the speed of my let-down is not to your liking. You 'cluster-feed' which means that you are permanently attached to my chest and take about 4.7 second breaks in between each feeding; just enough time to psych me out and think that I might be able to actually set you down. You flail your arms, pummel me with your fists, head-butt my chest and scratch me like an angry squirrel. It seems like the only person you hate more than me right now is your dad whenever he tries to hold you and you realize he doesn't have breasts.
Mommy is a nurse. I know what this is, I know the reason for it and I know that you are far from starving. I know that you are fussy not because you aren't getting enough to eat, but as a way of communicating with my body as part of the supply and demand process. I know that the only way to get through this is to follow your cues, to switch you from side to side, talk to you and soothe you however I can. It is obvious from the mountain of poopy and wet diapers that not only are you getting enough milk, you’re practically drowning in it. This is just how breastfeeding works. Your behavior is actually an indication that things are perfect and as nature designed. You are nursing frequently to keep me there with you.
None of this knowledge makes it any easier though. Your daddy loves both of us very much and doesn't like to see me exhausted or on the verge of tears. He doesn't like offering to hold you to give me a break only to have you cry seconds later because you need to nurse again. Daddy could give you a bottle of my milk from the freezer but that would just slow down what you are trying so hard to do, increase my milk supply. You don’t need a bottle right now. You need to be connected to me to help my milk change and better meet your needs as you make the transition from newborn to infant. That is the purpose of this.
You may wonder why I’m telling you this. It is simple. One day you will have your first baby, and you will watch your wife go through what I am going through. I want you to know how wonderful your daddy has been these past few days and I want you to do everything you can to be just like him. He has swept the floors, washed the dishes, folded laundry and most importantly not once has he lost his patience with you. Your crying never seems to phase him and he has this amazing ability to identify the split second right when I am about to cry from frustration, come snatch you up and give me a kiss on the cheek.
I know that this growth spurt is temporary, a few days at most. The fussiness will pass. The sleep will return. You will grow and I will miss these days terribly. As tired or as frustrated as I may be right now just know Brandon, that these are actually the happiest days of mommy's life because I know that there is nothing in this world right now that can make you happier than being cuddled up on my chest. There is something sweet in knowing that I am the only person you want. I love how much you need me right now and in that sense at least, I wish things could stay like this forever.
Love, your Mama
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