My first Mother's Day

Sunday May 11, 2014 was my first mother's day as a mother. Holy smokes. For some reason that feels really weird to say. Last mother's day I remember being in a terrible mood because at that time Aaron and I were unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant, and the combo of my hormone therapy with an already unstable temperament made for a not so enjoyable day - especially for the people around me. This year was also tearful, but for happy reasons =)

I woke up to a pancake breakfast cooked by chef Brandon and sous-chef Aaron, and a gorgeous giant bouquet of flowers.

After breakfast Aaron asked me to check Brandon's diaper to see if there was anything in it. Well there was, a beautiful crystal bracelet (no, there was nothing else in there with the bracelet).

Then it was off to church for a Mother's Day service, and then after that we had brunch with my family at the Country Club - yes, the same country club where we had my baby shower. Did I mention they changed the rule about wearing denim the day AFTER my shower? FYI : I rocked a denim jacket over my maxi-dress this time =)

Later we went from brunch straight to the pool to soak up some sun and practice Brandon's back-stroke.

After splashing around for a while and discreetly trying to hide Brandon's vomit in the pool water, we went back home for a cook-out with Aaron's family. We spent the rest of the night hanging out at home and playing games. A perfect mother's day <3

Life Lately

Our sweet little Brandon is 9 weeks old now, weighing in at 15lbs 10oz per his two-month doctor's visit. Pause for reaction...... Yes, our little hippo is in the 98th percentile. Holy Roly-Poly!

 

He had his first set of shots which he took like a champ; he actually slept the entire rest of the day. (Note to self: remember to coordinate Brandon's next set of shots with any long car-rides, plane flights, or days when mommy wants to go to the mall)   =)

I wish I could say that by now Brandon and I have worked out some sort of daily routine but it just hasn't happened yet. I am a big proponent of schedules and lists and itineraries, all of which Brandon laughs at. I firmly believe it's because I am exclusively breastfeeding that Brandon eats so frequently, plus the fact that he is the size of a small bear cub. His feedings are not only frequent but also sporadic. In a four hour time-span he may want to eat two, four, six or eight times; I can never tell. There is no rhyme or reason to his eating pattern yet and it's driving me bananas. He's lucky he's so adorable <3

One thing I am definitely grateful for is the fact that he is able to differentiate between day and night. The ONLY thing I can count on is the fact that once he has had a bath and a bottle of pumped milk somewhere around 9pm, he falls asleep and stays asleep for about 4-5 hours. Thank Jesus. He wakes up around 2am, gets his diaper changed, breastfeeds for a few minutes and then goes back to sleep. Same thing happens at 6am, 8am, and by 10am he's up for the day. This is my one little slice of normalcy and routine within a 24 hour period. Without this I would probably end up on an episode of 'Snapped'.

From 10am -9pm our day is a blur of breastfeeding, diaper changes, random 20 minute naps and playing with our toys.

Sitting in the Bumbo chair helps Brandon exercise his neck muscles which is good because he's not the biggest fan of 'tummy-time'. If I catch him in an awesome mood he may tolerate laying on his belly for approximately 4 - 5 minutes, just long enough for me to snap some cute pictures!

Brandon is growing and developing so fast I feel like I can't even keep up! He literally outgrew a pair of pajamas overnight. I am just trying to soak up every ounce of cuteness I can while I'm still on maternity leave because if Brandon's crazy feeding schedule doesn't earn me a spot in the looney-bin, I'm sure my first day back to work will do it! =)

Happy (late) Easter!

Easter was actually an entire week ago and I am just now getting around to posting about it,, but again I am going to use the baby-card (how long is that good for?) Brandon is now 8 weeks old and still has yet to put himself on anything resembling some sort of daily routine. He eats whenever he wants for however long he wants and I am along for the ride. I thought he had finally figured out his nights - 3 nights in a row he slept for 6 hours straight! Until I decided to brag about it to people and then BAM! The last two nights he has been up every 2-3 hours. That'll teach me to brag about my kid. 

Easter Sunday was so much fun over here. The three of us woke up in bed together and then went out to see what the Easter bunny brought for Brandon!

I know it's a tiny bit ridiculous to put together an Easter basket for a 7 week old baby, but to be honest it was more for me than him - I'm not embarrassed to admit that ;) The basket was from Pottery Barn Kids, it has his name embroidered on it and it can be reused every year so no money wasted there. And the pictures I got out of it are priceless in my opinion <3

 Then we went to church for Easter service where Brandon received extensive compliments on his green bow-tie; and I loved hearing people in the congregation chuckle whenever he would grunt or fart during the service =)

 

After churh our families came over for Easter brunch. We had mimosas, bloody mary's, iced coffee, fruit skewers, quiche, cinnamon rolls, chicken salad, ham, croissants, cake and cupcakes,, Mmm Mmm Mmm!

If anyone was wondering how the fruit skewers on Pinterest turn out in real life, this is it.

 

And there was absolutely no way I was letting Brandon's first Easter sail by without a themed photo shoot. I have limited years where he (and Aaron) will allow me to do this. I intend on making good use =)

But by far the best part about this Easter was the fact that both of my brothers were able to fly into town and meet their nephew for the first time! Andrew and Kay were able to stay for a whole week while Ian was only here for a little over 24 hours. It was so fun to see them all with their nephew and have the whole family together!

  I know this post was picture-overload, but when it comes to keeping memories, why skimp?

This was definitely an Easter for the books and I am soo looking forward to next year when Brandon will be more interactive and OMG I just realized he will be old enough to do an Easter egg hunt.

=)

Six Week Growth Spurt

Dear Brandon,

You turned six weeks old on Saturday, congratulations! This means a few things. In addition to Daddy and I celebrating keeping you alive for a full month and a half, we have also enjoyed watching you transform from a cuddly newborn into an adorable infant. You now follow us with your eyes when we move around the room and you are gaining incredible neck control; and lets not forget that adorable smile you have been showing us! But in addition to these enjoyable milestones comes a not-so-enjoyable one,, the six week growth spurt or as I lovingly refer to it as 'the growth spurt from hell'.

I read somewhere that six weeks is when lots of women switch to formula and I can see why. Everything you do right now is as if to tell me that my milk supply is low. You are fussy, switch sides constantly and have developed this high-pitched squeal to vocalize your annoyance whenever the speed of my let-down is not to your liking. You 'cluster-feed' which means that you are permanently attached to my chest and take about 4.7 second breaks in between each feeding; just enough time to psych me out and think that I might be able to actually set you down. You flail your arms, pummel me with your fists, head-butt my chest and scratch me like an angry squirrel. It seems like the only person you hate more than me right now is your dad whenever he tries to hold you and you realize he doesn't have breasts.

Mommy is a nurse. I know what this is, I know the reason for it and I know that you are far from starving. I know that you are fussy not because you aren't getting enough to eat, but as a way of communicating with my body as part of the supply and demand process. I know that the only way to get through this is to follow your cues, to switch you from side to side, talk to you and soothe you however I can. It is obvious from the mountain of poopy and wet diapers that not only are you getting enough milk, you’re practically drowning in it. This is just how breastfeeding works. Your behavior is actually an indication that things are perfect and as nature designed. You are nursing frequently to keep me there with you.

None of this knowledge makes it any easier though. Your daddy loves both of us very much and doesn't like to see me exhausted or on the verge of tears. He doesn't like offering to hold you to give me a break only to have you cry seconds later because you need to nurse again. Daddy could give you a bottle of my milk from the freezer but that would just slow down what you are trying so hard to do, increase my milk supply. You don’t need a bottle right now. You need to be connected to me to help my milk change and better meet your needs as you make the transition from newborn to infant. That is the purpose of this.

You may wonder why I’m telling you this. It is simple. One day you will have your first baby, and you will watch your wife go through what I am going through. I want you to know how wonderful your daddy has been these past few days and I want you to do everything you can to be just like him. He has swept the floors, washed the dishes, folded laundry and most importantly not once has he lost his patience with you. Your crying never seems to phase him and he has this amazing ability to identify the split second right when I am about to cry from frustration, come snatch you up and give me a kiss on the cheek.

I know that this growth spurt is temporary, a few days at most. The fussiness will pass. The sleep will return. You will grow and I will miss these days terribly. As tired or as frustrated as I may be right now just know Brandon, that these are actually the happiest days of mommy's life because I know that there is nothing in this world right now that can make you happier than being cuddled up on my chest. There is something sweet in knowing that I am the only person you want. I love how much you need me right now and in that sense at least, I wish things could stay like this forever.

Love, your Mama

Baby Blues

I'm going to take a quick break now from the cutesy posts about how adorable my baby is and what a fairy-tale I am living in right now, and write about the not so glamorous side of early motherhood. My first two weeks home with my new baby were absolutely wonderful and I am completely in love with my son, however it has been far from a Johnson&Johnson commercial here at the Boyer house. I would love to say that every day has been filled with smiles and cute photo-ops but that just simply isn't true - quite the opposite - more like tears and anxiety attacks.

The hormonal roller-coaster started our first night home from the hospital. Brandon was born early on a Saturday morning and we were home by Sunday morning. The rest of the day our home was an open-house for visiting family members.

Aaron and I were excited to show our new baby off to our families and I was totally fine. But after about 9 hours of having 10+ people over passing Brandon around, anxiety started to set in. All of a sudden the sight of other people holding my baby started to make me angry and I could feel my heart pounding. I couldn't focus on the dinner-table conversation and was now trying just to hold back tears. I felt this weird pressure in my chest like I physically NEEDED to hold my baby otherwise I might lose it. I whispered to Aaron that I needed everyone to go home and he must have detected the desperation in my voice because within a hot minute he snatched the baby from whoever was holding him and got the process of clean-up and good-byes started.

Once everybody was gone Aaron and I sat on the couch with Brandon and I started balling. I'm talking breath-gasping, ugly-face sobbing. I buried my face in Brandon's neck and within minutes his outfit was soaked with tears. Aaron asked  me what was wrong but I wasn't even sure. I was upset about other people being in our house and holding Brandon, I was really sad that my pregnancy was over, I missed my big belly and feeling Brandon move around inside me, I was sad that Brandon was getting older by the minute, but mostly I just felt sad - period.

This feeling continued on and off for 2-3 weeks. I love my baby and I love being a mom, but the first 2 weeks of his life all I wanted to do was stay in the house, sit on the couch with him and cry. I didn't have the energy or the motivation to get up and go anywhere, but sitting on the couch all day made me feel lazy which added to my frustration. I cried multiple times a day for various reasons, sometimes for no reason at all. I just felt sad. Sometimes Aaron looked at me like I had two heads, but mostly he was understanding and supportive. Occasionally I was able to put on a happy face and go for a walk or cook dinner, but mostly I just felt depressed and wanted to stay inside and hide from the world. I didn't even feel up to talking on the phone or returning text messages.

Bringing home a new baby is a huge adjustment. You are sleep-deprived, you lose all sense of a daily-routine and you are physically sore. Combine this with the hormonal roller-coaster going on inside your body and its surprising they don't  automatically transfer all new moms to a psych ward straight from the labor and delivery unit. The third week was when I started feeling better and by week 4 I would say I am pretty much back to normal now. I am still sleep deprived and I still have not worked out a daily routine with Brandon yet, but I stopped crying on a daily basis and I finally feel like I can enjoy watching Brandon grow now instead of being sad about it. Thank God. The emotional up and down is very exhausting and it's nice now to be able to look at my baby and feel nothing but joy =)

Life Lately

My daily schedule is basically unrecognizable compared to before we had Brandon. I'm not complaining, I love this little man a ridiculous amount and I love this stage of life that we are in right now. I just find it funny how much he controls my agenda. He owns me now and I wouldn't have it any other way <3

Breastfeeding is amazing,, it's something that only I can do for Brandon and its an incredible bonding experience. I love how his eyes are always wide open looking up at me while he eats and I know its the healthiest thing for him. However,,,, breast milk digests much faster than formula, which means that Brandon is constantlyyyy eating!

Brandon is three weeks old now and while I want him to stay a tiny little newborn forever and ever, I also am really looking forward to the time when he can sleep through the night; only sleeping in 1-2 hour increments is really taking its toll on me. I love my baby to death and I love staying home with him all day and taking care of him, I just was surprised with how exhausting breastfeeding is. Luckily I have a super supportive husband who encourages me to take as many naps as possible throughout the day, and has no problem fixing dinner when he gets home from work while I am super-glued to the couch with Brandon super-glued to my chest =)

Other than the demands of breastfeeding, life lately has been amazing. I have lost all sense of date and time - Brandon and I are in our own little world hardly ever leaving the house except to go for walks in the stroller around the neighborhood. I could stare at his adorable little face for hours and my favorite time of day is when Aaron gets home from work because it literally melts my heart to watch him hold and kiss his son.

I know I am never going to get this time back and I just want to soak up every single second of Brandon being a newborn. I sometimes feel guilty for not doing the dishes or folding the laundry or cooking dinner, (I have even cried because of how guilty I feel), but Aaron reminds me every day that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now - bonding with my baby. We sit on the couch and breastfeed and cuddle and 18 years from now when Brandon leaves home, this is exactly how I want to remember the first month of his life  <3

Happy St Patrick's Day!

So apparently having a newborn is slightly more time consuming than I had anticipated, especially if you are breastfeeding. I am literally a stationary milking-station parked on the couch at Brandon's beckon call. I have about 1-1.5hrs in between feedings and if I'm lucky that gives me enough time to empty my bladder, stuff my mouth with something, think about cleaning the house, and oh yeah, catch some shut eye. So it goes without saying my new daily schedule (or lack there-of) does not leave much time for blogging, and while that may not sound like a big deal, I still want to continue documenting this time in our lives. So to solve this problem I finally learned how to type with one hand while holding Brandon with the other and breastfeeding. I'm very impressed with myself.

In addition to becoming ambidextrous, I also had time lately to make sure Brandon's first holiday didn't go uncelebrated,, Saint Patrick's Day! We spent the day at home doing Brandon's newborn photo shoot - pictures coming soon! I was skeptical when the photographer said it would take 5 hours to take the pictures,,, but she was dead serious. Turns out newborns don't exactly take direction. But the poses were adorable and I cant wait to see the finished product!

After pictures Aaron and I went to the Health Department to pick up Brandon's official birth certificate and yes,, I cried the whole drive home staring at it. When we got home Aaron sent me to time-out on the couch where I pulled myself together,, until Aaron came in with the mail and showed me Brandon's Social Security card. He is officially on the grid.  Not sure why this all makes me so sad, maybe because it forces me to think of Brandon as an actual human being and not just a little fetus floating around in my belly anymore =(

Once I pulled myself together for the second time, we were ready to go green! We donned our festive green attire and started prepping for St Paddy's day dinner. We had all four grandparents plus Aaron's sister over for some corned beef sliders, potato skins, green cupcakes and of course Aaron's green beer =)

 

 

 

 

We ate, talked, watched TV, talked some more, and of course took turns passing around the baby. Who could resist that adorable little leprechaun!

All in all I think Brandon enjoyed his first holiday,, now its just a countdown until Easter! I am so excited to make him his first Easter basket, dress him up like a bunny, plan an Easter brunch for the family and see my brother and sister-in-law who are coming into town to meet their nephew. Fun fun fun!